But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
