so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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