I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
