I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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