Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
