STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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