Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
