you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
