Taylor Swift is so right about you.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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