why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize