Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
