Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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