Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
