u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
