my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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