Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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