I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So squirting runs in the family.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
