I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
