Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
