if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
