My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize