3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
