Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
