glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Randomize
