is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
