he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
