I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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