he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
