I think I died a long time ago.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
