I think scott just propositioned me for sex
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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