I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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