it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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