he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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