just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
