my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
