they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
