super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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