woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
