She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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