dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
