Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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