hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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