sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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