garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
