but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
