i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
