Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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