Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
