i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
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