it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
