All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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